White Trash Vette

Maybe that is a harsh title, but I believe this story will justify the header.

I have a day job, and although I never discuss my other job on this site, this story is so absurd that I felt it needed to be shared.  This is all true, but the names have been changed to protect the ignorant...

Where I work we occasionally get a call from people looking to unload their car.  Sometimes running, sometimes damaged, sometimes just complete junk.  Normally people call in with unrealistic expectations on what their non-running, sitting for 10 years car is worth.  But occasionally a call will come in with something rare... like a 2016 Z06 Corvette at less than 25% of it's original price.  Yes, it was damaged, but with less than 5,000 miles on the engine the damage did not deter from it's asking price.  The story behind the damage is priceless.

The story revolves around a 20-year old boy who inherits $100,000.  Okay, whether you are 20-years old or 60-years old, $100,000 tax free is nothing to sneeze at.  So, what did our strapping young lad do with his lucky windfall?  Make investments in the stock market?  Invest in education? Start a business?  No, he goes out and buys a brand new Z06 Corvette.  Okay, I'm the biggest Corvette fan there is and how I would love to get my hands on a brand new Vette, but the reality is... they are just too damn expensive!  This boy could have easily spent $25,000 or less and gotten a nice C6 or C5 Vette and still had a beautiful car with low miles and more horsepower than he would have known what to do with.  But instead he took his $100,000 and spent $88,000 on a beautiful black 2016 Z06 Corvette.  With a whopping $12,000 left over he quickly ran to K-Mart and bought some vinyl sticky letters and put DICK HAS MONEY on both sides of the back window (his name isn't Dick but this is true, he did write this slogan with vinyl rub on letters on the back window) just to class the car up and show everyone that he is a roller. 

Now, I have no idea what full coverage insurance costs on a 2016 Corvette for a 20-year old kid, whose driving record I can assume is questionable.  But I have to pay $76 a month for 2015 Chevy Cruze... I imagine a $80,000 Vette is no free ride.  But now Dick has his car, his rub on letters, and his foot pressed to the floor every time he steps into this beautiful machine! This was apparent as the tires on the back of this car were completely bald... beyond bald!  The steel bands were visible, all resemblance to rubber was gone, in less than 5,000 miles.

Now it is 3 months later since Dick won the death lottery, $88,000 gone the first week and the other $12,000 eaten up by vinyl letters, partying, and super high insurance payments.  It takes a lot of money to impress the girls and Dick was making it rain... but his cloud burst was over.  Dick was out of money and the insurance was the first thing to falter.

I assume that once Dick lost the insurance his dad stepped in and made him park the car.  It was put in storage but I guess dad didn't hide the keys because when cousin Biff came over (not his real name... or is it?) he had to take him on a joy ride.  Just a little jaunt down a back road, what could go wrong?  I guess the black circular items on the back of the car that once resembled tires, could no longer take the full throttle 650 horsepower blast and let go of the road sending Dick and Biff spinning into a tree bashing in the driver side quarter hard enough to knock the wheel off.  I can just picture Dick and Biff on the side of the road trying to figure out what they are going to tell his dad, much like an episode of Leave it to Beaver.  "You really did it this time Beaver, Dad's going to hit the roof!"  The best Dick could come up with is he backed it into a tree...  at about 50 miles per hour!  Dad didn't buy it.  With no insurance and no money left to fix it, the car was sold at less than 25% of the $88,000 initially spent just a few months earlier.

Not sure who got the money from the sale. Given that Dick blew $100,000 in just a few months I'm sure if had got the sale money it was all blown at a strip club in a couple nights.  What a roller!

I guess this is a sad story, at least for the Corvette.  First off to owned by such an idiot, and then being damaged so bad in such a short time.  The only good side of this is the car is being put back together and hopefully will be back on the road in just a few months. 

Now I can only imagine Dick driving around in a beat up Cobalt with DICK AIN'T GOT MONEY on the side.  Sticky vinyl letters can make anything look good!